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Can we have a do over?

Are there days where you wish you could start the day over? Today is one of those days. I woke up feeling crumby. I hurt myself three times before 10:00 am! I cut my finger making breakfast, I step on a toy and bruised the crap out of the arch of my foot, and stabbed my finger with a tack! Yeah it could have been worse, but I'm just going to go back to bed and start again.

I have thought already, I'm ready to start 2014 back over. It seems like we just have not been on the 'right foot' this year. We have been working hard on eliminating our debt for several years now and 2014 was going to be our year!! We have worked so hard to make it happen and we knew it was going to be a great year! We got two confirmations that it was happening! We were on our way to be DEBT FREE!!

We as family have been praying and seeking God's direction for our lives. What were we called to do? What is our families purpose. Satan, got word this is what we were doing. So he has tried really hard to step in and make us think we are not fit to do what we have been praying about. We've been selfish. Bratty. In control. Independent. Just pains to be around. Ask those that know us best. Those are the ones we lash out on anyways, right?

We've been battling our 5 year old's behavior! We strive so hard to teach him to be respectful, responsible, and to do as he's told. We fight this battle daily. Daily. Does he hear us? Of course he does. Who's got the stronger willpower? Us? Him? We fight this daily. He got a double dose of hard-head. (Both from his Dad...) Strong willed? Maybe. Good? Yes sometimes. Not always. I know those of you that have more than on kid, maybe you think I am crazy. 'Try having more that one?' I have no idea what that's like. Every kid is different. Every parent is different. We all work together differently. We thought we had it down pat! He was really making us proud! Doing great in school. Loving it! Learning so much! 2014 changed things a lot in our house. Something about being off of our little routine? Could that do it?

I cried on the way home from taking him to school this morning. Am I fit to be his parent? What am I doing wrong? What can I do differently? I walked him into school today, because he cried the entire way to school and looked like he had not slept in days... I almost cried to his teacher! Ha! Not really. I just told her we are fitting a power battle right now. He's our only, and we are trying our best! She responded with, 'Well, you are doing your best and it shows!  He's a very smart boy.' Then I walked to the car and cried. Really.
Parenting is NOT for the weak. I said parenting, not just 'being there'. There is a difference. I would not trade it for the world! But you have to be strong!

Then I get home. Cleaned like to do when I am mad/sad/angry/scared. Crazy maybe, but ask Michael. He jokes and says 'All I have to do it tick you off and you clean like a crazy lady' I was checking FB for a second and a friend posted this.  dear mom who feels like she is failing. So I started reading this blog.  And as I sit at the computer crying and listening to Pandora....What comes on?  Third Day. Cry Out to Jesus
There is hope for the helpless and rest for the weary!

Matthew 11:28 "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."

 Here's to a better day!! Gotta go pick little man up from school. 
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